Move Intended to Bolster Cafe Economy & Political Proselytizing
After President Trump pushed through his “three-martini lunch” tax deduction as a means to boost the restaurant economy, the Berkeley Chamber of Commerce saw an opportunity to bolster the city’s famous cafe economy. The Chamber worked with representative Barbara Lee to push for a 500% tax credit for each latte served.
The Chamber press release stated, “Look if congress is willing to give away free martinis then we should be paying business to serve lattes as a community service during this time of need.” The 500% tax credit could result in a substantial revenue boost for local coffee bars.
Senate and House negotiators were split over whether the individual customer actually had to consume three lattes before the credit kicked in. It came down to a question of the policy’s intent. The Republican lead negotiator noted, “Look the point of the three martini lunch is to get your client so hammered they buy into your crazy Wall Street ponzi scheme. What is the intent in Berkeley?” Democrats responded, “Look, caffeine is a critical component in political proselytizing in Berkeley.” To drive home her point, the Democrat’s lead negotiator showed video of Berkeleyeans hotly debating on the corner of Walnut and Vine Street on how “Bernie was jobbed.” The conference committee finally settled on the “three-Peet’s” consumption rule after the Chamber presented data indicating the average Berkeley politico consumes six coffees a day.
Some Republican committee members expressed reservation that the focus on Chai Lattes might advantage left-leaning proselytizing. As a compromise, frappuccion’s were included in the tax credit. Market research suggest frappuccinos are a favorite of Qanon supporters.
