GameStop, Bitcoin and AMC Investments to the Rescue
Berkeley’s $1.2 billion in unfunded pension and infrastructure liabilities is now a solved problem, according to the city’s Budget Director. The declaration comes after a rapid rework of the city’s investment portfolio.
“Historically, our portfolio has been invested conservatively. As we recently reported, we mostly hold bonds issued by Big Banks, Big Oil, and Ralph Lauren.”
”Clearly the interest on the bonds we bought from Oakland’s own efforts to meet its pension liabilities is not sufficient to close our budget gap. And it would be immoral to ask the taxpayers to make up for years of bad governance.”
“So, I was conducting research using a service for investment professionals like myself called Wall Street Bets (WSB) on Reddit, when I spied a hot tip. An up and coming company called GameStop is on the move! It’s gone from $30 to over $340 practically overnight. I dumped those bonds and went all in on GameStop with $400 million at $320/share.”
“I set an order to sell once the stock price hits $1,500, which it certainly will while I’m on vacation and offline for the next three weeks. We’ll get our investment back and get this town back on its feet.”
In anticipation of Berkeley going all vegan in 2025, the city also taken a leverage position of 1 million shares of Beyond Meat
Tesla was another addition to the portfolio given, “residents’ strong affinity to the brand, and a desire to leverage local investment.” In anticipation of Berkeley going all vegan in 2025, the city has also taken a leverage position of 1 million shares of Beyond Meat. “Look if we only need to put 10% down, what could possibly go wrong?” Rounding out the list was AMC, despite all local cinemas being shuttered, there is a “felling” things will bounce back. The city also hopes to capitalize on its Bitcoin revenue through its parking program.
Look if we only need to put 10% down, what could possibly go wrong?
The Bunion pointed out that GameStop is a struggling company with an obsolete business model as illustrated by its store on Shattuck and Allston, just two blocks from the City offices, being shuttered.
“Really? Well, I never walk in that direction. Too many homeless – downtown is kind of gross, but we will get that fixed up once GME pays off!”
GameStop 2020 Shattuck Ave (Now Closed)