Condition Tied to Being “Outed” for “Shame Eating” Fast-food and Drinking Beer A principled conservative woman from Wisconsin has reported suffering unusual nightmares over the past several months. The singular common thread being that each nightmare takes place in Berkeley, California – some 2000 miles away from the woman’s home. The night terrors began after she […]
About: Woody Bernard
Posts by Woody Bernard:
Woman depletes EV charge, requires tow after futile quest to recycle household batteries in Berkeley
North Berkeley resident Rann Eround found herself stranded in West Berkeley when her EV battery was depleted after a frustrating odyssey to recycle some household batteries she had collected. Writing on NextDoor, Eround explained what happened. “I try to be a responsible person. Really – I rinse out my recyclables and only water my garden […]
Car Rental Operators Announce Berkeley Exclusions
National rental car operators Hertz, Avis, and Thrifty have all announced new exclusions to their Bay Area rental contracts – cars may not be driven within the Berkeley city limits. “We usually have exclusions wherever safety is an issue,” said Hertz VP of Operations Carol Driver. “if you rent in San Diego, you cannot drive […]
2021 Real Estate Olympics Begins!
With COVID-induced volatility in the Berkeley housing market in full effect, the competition to claim the title of Real Estate Olympic Champion for 2021 is expected to be ferocious. Contestants include: the Rent Board, City Council, ZAB, and Berkeley Property Owners Association. A number of developers, builders, and real estate agents have also entered the […]
Mirror Dimension Mayor Backs Police, Prioritizes Infrastructure
In a bizarre twist, Berkeley’s Mayor fell into a massive pothole on University Avenue at the bottom of which he appears to have switched places with his bearded twin from the Mirror Dimension. Following the narrative of the classic episode of the original Star Trek, “Mirror, Mirror,” in which the Vulcan science officer, Mr. Spock, […]
Berkeley Sues Churches, Synagogues for use of “Amen”
On January 4th, he Berkeley City Attorney filed suit in Alameda County court against several churches and synagogues in the city, citing their continued use of the word “amen” instead of “apeople” at the conclusion of prayers. The city alleges that the usage is in violation of its 2018 law requiring the use of gender […]
Terry Taplin’s Secret Council Meeting Poetry Journal
CM Terry Taplin is a professional poet and in November’s election, he was demoted from private citizen to Berkeley city council member. During a recent Council Meeting, the investigative team at The Bunion spotted, in a reflective surface behind Taplin, pages from what appears to be a journal of poems written during meetings. Using The […]
Bunion Co-Founder Humpy Stiverson Receives Award for Excellence in Investigative Journalism for 2019 Work
The Bunion’s Humpy Stiverson has received the coveted Chauncey Bailey award for Excellence in Investigative Journalism for his work as a freelancer in the Berkeleyside comments section. Under a pseudonym, Stiverson was the first to refute the UC Berkeley School of Public Health’s report that soda consumption was down 52% in the three years after […]
Laser Focused Team of 17 Ignoramuses to Decide Future of Public Safety
Berkeley is doubling down on its drive to defund policing, despite the defeat of one of the city’s most ardent foes of public safety, CM Davila. CMs Hahn, Harrison, and Mayor Arreguìn show no signs of letting up as they led the Council to approve creation of a 17 member task force of people with […]
Editorial: The Bunion Congratulates Outgoing Vice Mayor Sophie Hahn on a Year of Vice
CM Sophie Hahn has sloughed off the mantle of Vice Mayor of the City Council, returning to her elected responsibilities as the representative of District 5. CM Lori Droste will take Hahn’s place as “Council Vice President” after Tuesday’s ceremonial Lowering Into The Abyss. The title of “Vice Mayor” is being retired with the transition. […]